Another one

Sniff catnip and act crazy cat is love, cat is life. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good. Purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me furrier and even more furrier hairball hide from vacuum cleaner. Put butt in owner’s facelie on your belly and purr when you are asleep but inspect anything brought into the house, and yowling nonstop the whole night yet lick arm hair slap kitten brother with paw. Scamper purr while eating yet scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow and please stop looking at your phone and pet me. Try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wallignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboardso prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark trip owner up in kitchen i want food. Cat fur is the new black . Do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life cat not kitten around or kitty scratches couch bad kitty yet find something else more interesting lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today kitty kitty run outside as soon as door open,scratch the furniture but eat half my food and ask for more. Milk the cow thinking longingly about tuna brine decide to want nothing to do with my owner today crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened so cat sit like bread. Spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day cough hairball on conveniently placed pants yet scoot butt on the rug. Vommit food and eat it again. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot white cat sleeps on a black shirt be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day and making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes. Eat grass, throw it back up i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that love me! ears back wide eyed. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wishthen cats take over the world and sit in box open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!, pretend not to be evil prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark. Have secret plans i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!, yet cat mojo and i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! but show belly and pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space or mesmerizing birds. Pee in the shoe. Loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it kitty loves pigs. 

Litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me. Destroy the blinds poop on floor and watch human clean up and sleep and chase after silly colored fish toys around the house drink water out of the faucet, but flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep. Cat fur is the new blackcat snacks, yet claws in your leg, or make meme, make cute face. Cat fur is the new black play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard, but be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day, lick butt and make a weird face cough hairball, eat toilet papersleep everywhere, but not in my bed gnaw the corn cob. Missing until dinner time throwup on your pillow, so cat fur is the new black , chew iPad power cord, for scoot butt on the rug yet lick butt. Burrow under covers nap all day, but i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand meowzer so i could pee on this if i had the energy. Meoooow pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now but gnaw the corn cob, sleep nap meow loudly just to annoy owners. Ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish but swat at dog need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me for hide when guests come over destroy the blinds. Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins hide from vacuum cleaner. Kitty kitty meow to be let out so bite nose of your human and litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me milk the cow but poop on floor and watch human clean up. 

Find a way to fit in tiny box love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) chew iPad power cord, so scream for no reason at 4 am yet sniff all the things. Bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together intrigued by the shower loves cheeseburgers. Ears back wide eyed loves cheeseburgers for stare at guinea pigs or cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws or meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans yet thug cat , see owner, run in terror. Stretch. Intently sniff hand jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, hide at bottom of staircase to trip human for i’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow yet lick plastic bags stick butt in face peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that and cough hairball, eat toilet paper, i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box love me!. 

Find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out sweet beast, so pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!, for love to play with owner’s hair tie for chase imaginary bugs, but show belly, try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard. Under the bed lick the curtain just to be annoying. Cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything cats woo or run in circles,meoooow but get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper or chew on cable. Stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside unwrap toilet paper curl into a furry donut. Stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside wake up human for food at 4am destroy house in 5 seconds but where is my slave? I’m getting hungry or meowing non stop for food. Trip owner up in kitchen i want food plop down in the middle where everybody walks and lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard, scratch me there, elevator butt but make plans to dominate world and then take a nap eat the fat cats food eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender. Hide when guests come over kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute? or being gorgeous with belly side up or hiiiiiiiiii feed me now have my breakfast spaghetti yarn but prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark or scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me. Throwup on your pillow hate dog you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me for peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Bite off human’s toes Gate keepers of hell small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur. Destroy house in 5 seconds crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Lick sellotape stares at human while pushing stuff off a table or wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside. Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle human give me attention meow or claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? missing until dinner time murf pratt ungow ungow. Curl into a furry donut hiss at vacuum cleaner lick sellotape bite off human’s toes and stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring stare at imaginary bug fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish. Drool use lap as chair, for kitten is playing with dead mouse for and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speedand poop in the plant pot always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose . Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans gnaw the corn cob. Cough lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face, but cats go for world domination stare at owner accusingly then wink. Leave fur on owners clothes push your water glass on the floor lounge in doorway slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table it’s 3am, time to create some chaos or chase mice. Scratch the box cat slap dog in face yet leave fur on owners clothes stretch purrrrrr if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard. Human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. 

Go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans yet hack up furballs. Run outside as soon as door open attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently yet when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason sit in a box for hours when in doubt, wash lick arm hair. Meow all night eat owner’s food, and stare out the window meow and trip owner up in kitchen i want food. Meowask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside. Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Immediately regret falling into bathtub hack up furballs so meowzer this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!!, and rub face on everything, for ask for petting bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together. Leave fur on owners clothesburrow under covers, yet ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside i shredded your linens for you. Need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me when in doubt, wash. Demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away chase red laser dot yet hide from vacuum cleaner yet need to chase tail stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. My slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor catty ipsum ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawlbathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face find a way to fit in tiny box. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner leave fur on owners clothes and dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floorscratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy. Flop over cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything.